Reach Out

Note: This article is originally written only for the Sparking.Biz E-magazine

Distance is not always a measurement of gap or space between two or more points or places. Distance is sometimes an endless emptiness of misery within us or a silent space between two people that yearns to be heard and cared.

Are social animals (humans) losing out on the essence of understanding the meaning of trust, care, affection, and sharing their life in the right way? Is it essential, we frequently remind ourselves of the difference between being friendly and having a companion/confidant/friend? Why then does someone feel lonely amidst a friendly crowd?

Suicide is a decision that gushes up from the most vulnerable heart. Every child deserves to receive extravagant encouragement for the tiniest of achievements. Every word uttered by a child needs an adult’s undivided attention. Listening is caring. Listening to a child gives them the freedom of expression, the confidence to learn, and feel motivated to do better every time. Adults must feel obligated to make a child feel special & to help them grow into psychologically & physically secured adults. Checking with family & friends every day about their plans for the day, or volunteering to be of any help to them is just a small step that establishes faith in each other.

Busy-ness is just an excuse we give to our loved ones for not being able to prioritize our lives  

Each one of us has unique emotional capacities. It is essential to develop our emotional quotient to understand others first & then to be understood. Such an effort is vital for a better life. Empathy in life is like the sweetener in the lemonade. The only way to make bitter or sour taste sweet.

                                                                                             

There are zillion formulas to make life seem unfair & difficult, & infinite combinations of emotions to deal with every awkward situation. It is high time we made the best use of these combinations for a peaceful living. We are all blessed with sufficient emotional intelligence to cleverly help each other and ourselves to tackle life’s gambles. Problems in life are like playing the game of Hockey. You dribble the ball (problem) and make sure you pass it quickly to the player ahead of you to reach the goal faster. The more you intend to dribble alone the sooner you get attacked and defeated. Helping each other & working together using each other's strengths is the only means to achieve the goal of a HAPPY LIFE with ease.

An idle mind is a devil’s workshop. Anyone who can sense or knows someone trapped in this workshop, or parents who feel there is an opportunity for them to start a connection with their children, please remember Now is the Time.

Identifying & Recognizing the strengths of a child is more important than finding & reminding them of their weaknesses. Reach Out, before your loved ones go Out of Reach!

My Kiddie My Buddy

Note: This article is originally written only for the Sparking.Biz E-magazine

One of the most beautiful relationships the universe bestows upon a woman is her Baby.

My career aspirations inspired me for the last time in my dreams on the night of 15^th Jan 2009. The next morning brought a surprising twist to our (my husband & me) lives. I woke up with a desire to be a MOTHER. I guess I had spoken more than enough to surprise my husband that morning. After he ensured he wasn’t dreaming, his eyes lit up like an incandescent bulb.

The morning of Jan 16^th 2009 put me on the NEW TRACK of life. I was now hoping, to bring a new life into this world and my aspirations had evolved overnight. I was feeling ecstatic about committing to a LONG-TERM project which was going to fetch me priceless returns on my investment.

The next thing I did was to offer my wish at my GURU- Baba’s feet, during my routine morning prayers. As I headed to work, I soon got engrossed in the world outside. My life continued as usual for a couple of months after this. A sense of uneasiness had set in by then. There was a hollow I experienced within me, despite everything going my way. I had to address my state at the earliest.

A few months later, my husband and I had to attend a close friend’s party one evening. I felt unusually tired & lacked the enthusiasm to party. We drove back home early, and I slept like never before. The next morning, I went to visit my doctor along with my mother. The hollow I was experiencing filled with joy. The doctor told me I was going on a glee ride for the next nine months.

I felt I had very little time to plan for everything my TOT would need once he or she arrived. I read & gathered all the possible information about motherhood, child care, and financial planning to secure my child’s future. My husband and I were gracefully directed by the universe to make all the suitable arrangements. The time of my delivery came, and MY UMBILICAL BUDDY arrived!

My son helped me realize the value of patience for the first time in my life. Holding him in my arms, I experienced ENDLESS HAPPINESS & THE WORTH OF NINE MONTHS.

Life blessed me with a precious relationship. The only pre-requisite was unconditional love. My life had turned into a Fairy Dream.

There were so many simple things I learned from my baby. The first thing I learned was to communicate without using words & to understand things even without being told.

When the little man would make sounds, which baffled everyone else around, it always made perfect sense to me. It seemed like a language specially designed only for my baby & me to understand.

As he grew older by the day, he taught me the art of time management. His excitement to see me when I returned home from work always lit up every corner of my heart. When he toddled with me, he made me realize how to catch up with life’s pace.

His curious eyes when I read a story to him, helped me find the deeper meaning of simple words. When I decided everything for myself after making him the priority, I discovered the true meaning of HAPPINESS.

Every moment of his victory, every miss of his, all his achievements, every tantrum of his, & the expression of his love only makes me a better mother each day. The garland of his arms around my neck and his whispers in my ears are all my energy chargers.

I CANNOT THANK MY CHILD ENOUGH FOR CHOOSING ME TO BE HIS MOTHER

Over Seven years now & for the remaining life, I pray my Kiddie & I remain Best Buddies!

Loads of Love

Mommy!

Don’t Let Your Loved Ones Disappear

Note: This article posted on my Blog is originally written only for Spark.Biz E- magazine

Tiny and small things in life contribute to the majority of happiness we experience. The greatness of life is sometimes experienced unexpectedly or as a coincidence. The most intricate as well as the simplest of questions have an answer. Pay attention to experience life’s unique ways of answering.

I wondered how to explain to a tiny mind (my child), why we framed our loved ones when they left us and went to an unknown land. As a child, when I lost my Grandma my thoughts were the same as that of my son on the day he asked me the question. I earnestly wanted to meet my grandma just once more then, to let her know how much I loved her, and wished, something magical happened, and she jumped out from the photo frame so we could speak to each other again.

During my growing years, I followed the family tradition of praying to the departed souls of friends and family mechanically on their (Death anniversary or All Souls Day) and offered my prayers for their souls to rest in peace. I always wondered how the prayers offered to the dead only on All Souls Day or on their Death anniversary made them feel special in their heavenly abode when they remained in their family's prayers even on other days. All that was indistinct became distinct to me when my curiosity led me into understanding the facts and the purpose of acknowledging the All Souls Day, through some reading of books, and clarifications which I had sought with my elders in the family.

 The elucidations I gained about this day as a youngster, broke its silence when years later my son asked me the same question on the day of his great grandmother’s death anniversary.

 A simple question my son had asked had put me into thinking. I paused a bit and bargained for some time from him to think about different ways to help him understand the purpose of praying to the dead family members. After he had agreed, he soon got excited to visit the movie hall to watch the animated movie COCO. Little did I know the movie had a surprise in store for my son and me. We entered the movie hall to experience sheer joy. Our Fun Date was on. In no time I momentarily forgot about gathering stories and examples to answer the question later in the day.

 As my son and I entered the mall and headed towards the movie hall, I planned to think about the answers to my son's question while we watched the movie. I mentally prepared myself to sacrifice my part of the excitement partially.

 As we sat down in our seats to watch the movie after the National Anthem was over, I quickly dropped a note of prayer to my Grandma to help me with examples to quote to my son when I would explain to him about why we pray to the departed souls and worship their photo frames.

 The Universe is ever aware and planning on your behalf, for you to execute the right actions and intentions. The same happened to me. While I was trying hard to gather information and best examples in my mind to help my son understand what he wanted to know. The universe offered the solution to me in the form of cinematic brilliance.

Disney pictures ensured that my love for animation was not disturbed. COCO was the answer to my son’s question.

Every new generation that stems from the family tree tends to forget about their second last ancestors who existed before them. The nuclear and busy families are left with little or no time, and sometimes with little or no idea about their ancestors. The latter generations as a matter of limited choice occasionally accommodate the ancestors in their hearts by offering a mass prayer.

My son was glad to understand from the movie COCO that every family keeps the pictures of their ancestors to remember them, and to understand the truth, that Death was a path on which their ancestors had walked upon to reach to the other end of life, where the land of the souls exists. The ancestors living in the Spirit-land are the spirit guides who continue to bless their family members living on earth. The Spirit guides wait for their family members until they complete their lifespan on earth and join them back in the Spirit-land to celebrate the eternal reunion.

The picture of a departed family member is the strength which keeps them alive in the other world. Memories of the deceased family members create an eternal bonding between the two worlds. The memories of the ancestors among the newer generations that stem from the family tree will eventually fade, and the Spirit-Guides will then disappear from the land of the souls. To keep the Spirit-Guides alive and safe in the other world, their families on earth should make an effort to pass on the legacy of their ancestors to the future generations. The legacy of love, and memories.

Logically and emotionally, the movie COCO helped my son and me to establish a relationship with our ancestors. I could feel the lost connection with my grandma coming to life after several years.

Through this article, I intend to awaken the child within everyone and the hope, that one day we will all join our Spirit-Guides and loved ones at the other end of the life's bridge.

 Let us ensure not to forget our departed loved ones and make them disappear from the Happy Land of the SPIRITS…

I would love to conclude by saying fiction is the reality of happiness… Smile a mile…

Love

Deepthi Musley

MANY RELIGIONS ONE INDIA

SECULAR INDIA

This Article is written for Sparking.Biz magazine originally

Unity in diversity, all for one & One for all, United we stand divided we fall. A country of the people, by the people, & for the people at the heart of nationality is yet to identify itself with the true meaning of freedom even after seventy years of independence.

Our motherland has never isolated her children as Hindus, Muslims, Christians, Buddhists, Jains, etc...., & neither did she cut & offer herself as specific pieces of land to each of these religions. She has been there for all her children in the form of an entire stretch of land that has from time unlimited offered love, compassion & empathy barring all prejudices.

It is strange that all religions promote the FOUR PILLARS: Love, kindness, virtue, and peace, and follow the same doctrines & philosophies framed in different dialects and styles, and still find a reason to be annoyed with each other. India is rich in its cultural heritage & is the biggest democratic nation in the world. It is high time we united as INDIANS FIRST, setting aside all religious biases.

           

Apart from only Promoting brotherhood, there is a pressing necessity, to promote CHILDHOOD, SISTERHOOD, & AGRICULTUREHOOD in our nation today. The mental, physical, and mutual respect and understanding to save the innocence of a child and the faith of a woman in her countrymen along with BROTHERHOOD, and uplifting the AGRICULTURAL community which contributes considerably to the nation’s GDP, and supplements it with health through quality food, should be proclaimed as the true meaning of UNITY IN DIVERSITY.

The progress of a nation lies in its educational roots, in its power to think productively & express rightfully, in its economic upliftment, and in the way its citizens use each other’s strengths for a better living. 15^th of August 1947 was the day which offered these choices to us Indians.  

SLAVERY IS: ALLOWING OTHERS TO TREAT YOU INAPPROPRIATELY

India is a Rural nation which has produced noteworthy patches of liberal thinkers over a period of seventy years. It is not wrong to focus on self-progress, but it is wrong to be interested ONLY in self-progress. Every citizen must initiate an interest in the civic and social development of the country. Every feeble hand we hold and strengthen will contribute to India’s progress.

Let us as the citizens of the nation ensure to do the right things now, to leave a better tomorrow for our generations to come. It is now that we can change anything wrong with the INDIA TODAY, for the future generation to live in a beautiful INDIA TOMORROW.

LET OUR LIBERAL THOUGHTS SOAR AS LIBERAL ACTIONS            

The India today is in a controversial state of secularism as it accommodates various religion- centric laws practiced & spread unequally across the nation. The Human Rights is choking beneath the debris of Faulty Laws practiced by the people.

In this situation, India must look at abolishing religion-centric laws and constructing State Laws that administer equality of human rights of all religions.

IT IS NOW TIME WE MOVE INTO THE ZONE: MANY RELIGIONS ONE INDIA OR MANY RELIGIONS SECULAR INDIA!

JAI HIND

DEEPTHI MUSLEY

Begin with The End in Mind

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The most effective people walk backward to stay ahead in life. I once had read somewhere, that an artist never makes a random stroke with a brush, neither are houses built without a blueprint. It’s certain then. Everything a person wants in life is first visualized by the mind and later molded into reality.

Every time Diya closed her eyes, she could only imagine herself surrounded by happy faces not known to her, a beautiful home, with all her loved ones staying in it & leading an admirably healthy and a happy life. She visualized herself as someone doing her best for her family; whether it was cooking their favorite food, or buying them things they loved. She imagined herself as the best daughter, A loving & caring wife & mother, a wonderful friend, & above all an Independent woman in every sense. Her thoughts were her blessings in reality.

Success is a very vague term. It means differently to different people. Some measure success basis the assets they own, some by winning medals in sports, & there are a few who compare their social status with others to measure it. The list is inexhaustible. What did SUCCESS mean to Diya?

Individuals must have a clear vision of their life's ultimate big picture. Life doesn’t offer everything to everyone. The Big Picture paves the path with distinct milestones, which define the short-term achievements needed for individuals, who are on their journey to reach the final destination. Sometimes we experience a traffic that obstructs the smooth journey, and our schedules get delayed. The obstruction is an example of what someone may lack in life to achieve the Big Picture. Every hinderance opens a new way to reach the milestone. Oprah Winfrey once said: “Every situation in life is ultimately going to lead you to the planned destination, just make sure you don’t stop.”

No achievement ever excited Diya. She always knew in her mind through her observations about life, that no moment of excitement ever lasted. Success to her only meant a passing moment. Diya’s contentment kept growing with every passing day. She sensed a divine intervention in everything she had in her possession in life. Diya never complained about her life after she realized that universe had blessed her with everything she needed, even before she had asked for it. Diya spent most of her time introspecting, why lives of people in the world varied from each other, which made her realize the importance of gratitude.

Diya’s contemplation dawned upon her as enlightenment. She realized everyone in life sooner or later, meet themselves around life’s corner where based on their lifestyle, & life’s challenges seek guidance on how they can utilize their worth, their wealth, their knowledge and time. When she arrived at this stage, Diya was shouldering all the responsibilities of her family diligently. She ensured that all her efforts cushioned her family needs & their happiness.

                                                                                       

Planning and prioritizing, are the key elements that help people during life’s exigencies. While planning, one must first consider their life's Ultimate Big Picture/vision. Individuals must have the clarity of their possessions- this awareness eliminates confusion & directs them to focus on next steps. There should be a well-developed roadmap- which helps in prioritizing the milestones to achieve. Finally, analyzing all the challenges in the path- helps in identifying alternate route maps.

Diya’s gratitude towards life, her plans, priorities, & her desire for independence had helped her design her life well. She had until her old age, achieved a short-term career, a fruitful motherhood, & a Happy life overall. She made sure to use her knowledge, wealth, and time productively for self and society.

Diya had ensured to walk backward in her mind from the Big Picture and had assigned a plan for every milestone.

Maya Angelou once told Oprah Winfrey, & Diya’s life is an example of Maya’s quote: “Your legacy is every life you’ve touched.” 

The happy faces which Diya saw with closed eyes in the Big Picture were of strangers, orphans, and many others whose lives were touched by her humanity before she died. The rest in the Big Picture is very clear.

Diya made sure she defined LOVE & HAPPINESS as her SUCCESS…

I have made a thoughtful effort through this article to spread some of the best habits advocated by Stephen Covey, that makes lives better. The story of Diya is just a positive example of how to lead a Happy & Good Life.

Through this article, I intend to help anyone who may need a base to plan their future, especially young people. Life is a precious gift, it’s up to us to make it unique.

Stay Blessed

Deepthi Musley              

                                                                                                                    

A Promise on this Children’s Day

A day which is glorified should be known to one and all for its special reason and worth. Commemorating a day without virtue is like living a life without purpose.

In the last seven years of motherhood, I have witnessed children outgrowing their age at a rapid speed within the age group of 3-8 years. Sadly, the community of virtuous adults has had to pay the penalty of fear for educating children in this age group at a very embryonic stage of the social evils practiced by an appalling group in the society that we live in. It is very disheartening as these tiny minds are obligated to live so cautiously when they deserve a life which should be happy, carefree, and exuberant.

Emphasis should be laid on a legal binding upon the citizens of a country to learn and understand the civil, political, economic, social, health, and cultural rights of a child. Every family must ensure to diligently lead their children into adulthood for them to have a culturally enriched society to live.

           

The less fortunate population of India which is not exposed to literacy & lives in a conservative environment, and to those who demean humanity and have forgotten its prominence. We, the responsible population must initiate a process to educate this callous community, that a child in India deserves unlimited love, kindness, affection, a peaceful and protected environment during his or her growing years, irrespective of their race and status of all kinds.

It is now more than Sixty years since the idea to celebrate children’s day was proposed in the year 1954 to The UN General Assembly, by one of India’s most powerful diplomats, V.K. Krishna Menon, to commemorate the fundamental “Rights of the Child” universally. It is the time when we as a nation should make an effort to understand the articles listed in the “Convention on the Rights of the Child” which is a conceptualized version of Mr. Menon’s vision that was adopted as a Declaration by the UN Assembly in the year 1989 on November 20th.

THIS DECLARATION DEFINES THE PURPOSE OF CELEBRATING CHILDREN’ S DAY

As good citizens let's remind us that The UN Child Rights Declaration Condemns all social evils such as Child Prostitution/sexual exploitation, Child Trafficking, Child Labor, Child domestic violence, Girl child infanticide, and so on and so forth.

I thought I’d remind myself, and help the others to remember and spread the importance of Children’s day this November.

This year let us celebrate Children’s Day to accentuate A Child’s Freedom & Rights, which was also Chacha Nehru’s dream. Let the 14th of November primarily be remembered as The Rights of the Child Day, & secondly as Pandit Nehru’s birthday in remembrance of his true love for children.

Innocence is every child's fundamental right. Let us all join together & Promise on this Children’s Day to protect it.

  

Happy Children’s Day

Deepthi

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How I lost Nayaz

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Spark. Biz

Meeting someone is never a casual affair. Some who vanish into thin air without announcing, leave you with the best memories to cherish for life, and a mystery to solve.

On a usual day at college, I went to the parking lot to grab my scooter & hurry back home, when I heard a gruff but polite voice ask me from behind: "May I help you, please?" I turned back and was surprised to see the tiny figure which had produced that voice. I lit up with joy instantly.

No matter how coarse a hill is, it still looks beautiful. The little boy's face wore a nose that looked like a slide in the children’s park. He had beautiful bright eyes & a big forehead. His hair resembled a porcupine’s back. His attractive set of teeth had a twin canine which made him look adorable when he smiled with opened lips. His clothes looked shabby & his body was covered in black dust hiding his whitish complexion. Despite this, he seemed vibrant & refreshing.

It is a wonderful feeling when you know that kids admire you. After he had offered to help me with my scooter, his next question was: Aren’t you eating Tikki today? I was surprised he knew that I commonly grabbed a plate of Tikki from the Pani Puri (famous Indian snack) vendor who had his outlet next to the parking zone. The little boy pulled out Rupees Ten from his pocket and said: Shall I treat you today? I laughed heartily at what he said and wanted to give him a tight hug. On that day I had forgotten to carry my wallet and realized that the only Ten rupees note I had was missing when I searched my jeans pocket. I asked him the reason for his generosity, and he said: Your money slipped out from the pocket at the college gate, and I followed you to return it. I didn’t know how to react at that instance but accepted his treat on a condition that we both shared the plate of Tikki.

While the vendor was busy making Tikki for us, the little boy told me his name was Nayaz & he was nine years of age. He revealed that he begged around the college vicinity for a living.

Nayaz was from the Indian state of Andhra Pradesh, & was sold by his parents to a child trafficking agent in Bangalore. Nayaz disclosed that he had no complaints about life, as his parents could meet the family’s ends with the money they had received from the agent. He also expressed that the agent was kind to all the children, and took good care of their needs. Nayaz told me he regretted that he couldn’t study and that he always wanted to approach me and shake hands to say a Hello, but was shy. After listening to the heavy side of the story, I could only pat his back with a smile.

In the matter of few seconds, I sailed through the feeling of helplessness, that I could do nothing to help Nayaz. When I asked him if he was interested to get out of the situation he was in, he instantly denied. I did not bother to ask him why, as I had another question on my mind. Nayaz’s answer shook me on the inside when I asked him why he had returned my Ten rupees and let go of the opportunity. He said: “Didi, I am a beggar and not a thief.”

As I recovered from the state of embarrassment, I saw his fellow mate Qadir join him. There were five Tikkis in the plate, and I did not feel like eating even one. I left the plate for the two and rode back home lost in thoughts about life’s cruel ways.

Nayaz & I became best pals. Soon my friends grew fond of him too. Our association lasted for a year in the same fashion. I took Nayaz for short rides on my scooter, carried old clothes which were in good condition for him, & bought books to teach him the English alphabets. Nayaz was quick at learning but confessed that he couldn’t accept the clothes as it would annoy his agent if he ever knew about it. The difficulty was, Nayaz would not look like a beggar in those clothes.

A few days later, a friend of mine suggested, that we could speak to an NGO he was aware of for Nayaz. When we informed Nayaz about it, he looked a little disturbed to us. We asked him to think about it and get back to us the next day. Nayaz agreed, and we departed for the day.

The next day after college, my friend and I waited for Nayaz at the parking lot as usual. Nayaz did not turn up. We spotted his friend Qadir after a week near the college and learned upon inquiring that Nayaz was sent away to another place and no one knew where it was. When Nayaz tried to convince the agent about the NGO proposal which my friend and I had offered, his agent made sure he changed Nayaz’s operating area and strictly advised the other kids not to appear near our college for a few days.

It was the last time I heard about Nayaz. I still feel hopeless, that I could be of no avail to him. I am sure that there are many beings like me who’ve had to lose even before they battled.

His sweet memories are like the taunting mystery. I wish I find him one day.

Child Trafficking is a social evil that exists in our environment like microorganisms, for which we have wrongly developed the immunity. It's time we curbed the mounting appetite.

My only intent through this story is to request everyone to do their bit in helping any Nayaz they know. Together we can change this world into a better planet.

Thank you!

Deepthi Musley